S.B.I is the newly developed acronym for Stupid Bar Injury. I'm sure we've all had an SBI at one time or another. I acquired one this past weekend and what is particularly ironic about it is that it is, with one minor difference, the exact same freak injury I had almost exactly one year ago in the exact same bar while the exact same band was playing!
Last year I was dancing around at a bar while enjoying one of my favorite local bands when all of a sudden a gentleman dancing behind me unexpectedly lifted me up. Apparently, he was attempting the reverse lift from Dirty Dancing. 'Ow!' I thought, as he returned me to the controls of gravity. Something didn't feel right on my left side. As my chiropractor explained to me later that week, Patrick Swayze had unknowingly separated my rib bone from the cartilage it's really quite fond of. It took a good two weeks to heal and posed all sorts of interesting life adjustment challenges. Ever realize you use your obliques while opening a tight jar? I sure was hungry for those two weeks.
This past Saturday, while at the same bar, listening to the same band, during the same time of year, a different gentleman suddenly decided to pick me up this time from the SIDE, my right side to be specific. Well, as soon as he did it, I and he both HEARD and FELT the pop. I winced in pain and immediately knew exactly what had happened. He was very apologetic, but even under the sedation of a handful of vodka sodas, I was in too much pain to continue dancing. The official chiropractic report this time: A severely pulled oblique muscle and possible displacement of my bottom rib, which he not so gingerly put back into place.
So the moral of the story? Well, (1)I need to grow either taller or wider, neither choice seeming particularly appealing or pleasant to me, (2)start hanging around shorter guys who DON'T go to the gym on a regular basis, again neither appealing nor pleasant, or (3)wear a shirt that says, 'Gravity Defy-ers, Need Not Apply.' But for those taller guys whose vantage point is at a higher altitude than my own, they probably won't be able to read my warning label unless, of course, they pick me up to a level where they can read it!
Anybody else with an SBI to report???? I know you've had 'em!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
St. Anthony - You da bomb!
Next time you've lost something try repeating the following phrase...
"Tony, Tony look around, something's lost and can't be found!" It totally works! Read on for proof!
Earlier this evening a good friend of mine, we'll call him Matt, called me. He was very distraught that he had lost his wallet. Over the phone we re-traced his steps and did a mental checklist of the numerous pockets in which it could be hiding. "I took the dogs to the park and laid down to do some sit ups. I'm SURE that's where it fell out. I went back to look, though, and couldn't find it. ARGH!" He was understandably very frustrated.
So, I suggested that he pray to St. Anthony, the patron saint of lost things. He twice asked me to repeat the aforementioned phrase, and AS HE WAS SAYING IT, his other line rang with an unidentified number. "Let me grab this," he said, then added jokingly, "I don't know the number, maybe it's someone who found my wallet."
Well, you can probably guess the ending because sure enough it was! Some guy had found it in the park, picked it up, Googled Matt, and was nice enough to call him. How great is that?! So a big shout out to St. Anthony! He's helped me out before, but his expedience in this situation is to be commended. Try it sometime, just remember to say thanks when it works!
"Tony, Tony look around, something's lost and can't be found!" It totally works! Read on for proof!
Earlier this evening a good friend of mine, we'll call him Matt, called me. He was very distraught that he had lost his wallet. Over the phone we re-traced his steps and did a mental checklist of the numerous pockets in which it could be hiding. "I took the dogs to the park and laid down to do some sit ups. I'm SURE that's where it fell out. I went back to look, though, and couldn't find it. ARGH!" He was understandably very frustrated.
So, I suggested that he pray to St. Anthony, the patron saint of lost things. He twice asked me to repeat the aforementioned phrase, and AS HE WAS SAYING IT, his other line rang with an unidentified number. "Let me grab this," he said, then added jokingly, "I don't know the number, maybe it's someone who found my wallet."
Well, you can probably guess the ending because sure enough it was! Some guy had found it in the park, picked it up, Googled Matt, and was nice enough to call him. How great is that?! So a big shout out to St. Anthony! He's helped me out before, but his expedience in this situation is to be commended. Try it sometime, just remember to say thanks when it works!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Look before you leap....
For optimal viewing, watch the bottom video first, then the top one....While hiking in Crested Butte, we came across these boys who had landed themselves in a pickle. The F-250 tried, but couldn't quite cross the river, and got stuck in freezing water. When we reached them, the front cab was completely submerged underwater. Luckily there was enough testosterone nearby to assist in its rescue. It provided a good 30 minutes of entertainment!
I'm learning how to wakeboard...
Okay, I confess, that's not me....YET! And it's a dude, but anyhoo...
Zumanity, the sensual side of Cirque de Soleil
You will laugh, you will blush, you will want to take gymnastics lessons, and you will want to befriend a few midgets. This show was incredible! It probably lasted 2 1/2 hours-ish and I could have sat there and watched it for 4 more hours. Warning: You do not want to see this show with co-workers or parents! A date, fun friend, spouse, bachelorette party, etc. would be much better company! I did have a date with me, but we'll get to that later... ;-)
LA to NYC to Las Vegas in 10 days
Okay, it goes a little somethin' like this....LA for work, NYC for play, and Las Vegas for work while mixing in a little play too.
I fulfilled a life long dream by watching a game at the legendary Yankee Stadium! I don't think I stopped shaking from excitement until at least the top of the 4th inning. Do it while you can! The stadium will be no longer after this season.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
He's Just Not That Into Me...Or is He?
I went out with Sir Text-A-Lot for date number two on Monday night. I scored some free tix to an Arena Football game and invited him to go. Having played college football, and being a guy, he was psyched to go. Well, then I somehow received two more tix (Club level!) and so two more of my friends joined us. I offered him one of the tix to bring a buddy, but he couldn't find one to go. Okay, so it's him, me, one of my girlfriends, and one of my guy friends, who also played college football. I figured they'd have some common ground with that.
The novelty of the game...all four of us were virgin arena-goers, was fun, but I wasn't feeling too much chemistry from Sir T-A-L. He bought me a beer or two and we sat next to each other, but not very many of my questions to him were returned to me. For example, when I ask, 'What have been some of your best Halloween costumes over the years?' shouldn't he respond with something like, 'Incredible Hulk, a Miller Lite ref, the Morning Missile, and Hefty Smurf....HOW ABOUT YOU, 31DERFUL?' Nope, I didn't get that, which disappointed me because Halloween is my second favorite holiday and I've had, actually MADE, some great costumes. They are FABULOUS conversation pieces. I didn't offer them up, however, because, well, he didn't ask.
That's kinda how the night went. When I told my new favorite joke (Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella....?.....Fo' drizzle!), he did respond with another, not nearly equally as funny, but amusing nonetheless, joke. As we later parted ways, my girlfriend in tow, there was simply a very casual goodbye. I mean with my girlfriend right there I didn't really expect a big make-out session or anything, but it was merely a friendly, almost awkward, parting, not a 'Thanks for a great date, you totally rock, and at least a kiss on the cheek' parting.
Okay, whatever, so I'm thinking he's just not that into me. Minutes after getting in my car, however, I received a text from him (shocking) that said, 'Thx for a fun time!' I responded with something like, 'My pleasure, as soon as I'm back in town for more than 36 hours (I was gone last week and am now out of town again), we should do it again. G'night!' I didn't really know if I meant that or not, but I figured I'd throw it out there and see what he said. He expediently responded, 'Agreed, little lady. G'night.' Okaaaaayyyyy..... So maybe he IS into me. I guess we'll wait and see, but I hope he comes up with some questions next time. I can't be the only one asking things like 'Do you remember where you were when the Twin Towers were hit, What country would you most like to visit, and What good pranks did you play on your siblings when you were younger?'
It's just a little ironic, however, that had he feigned interest in me by asking more questions, I would have wound up with a lot more answers regarding this burgeoing relationship.
The novelty of the game...all four of us were virgin arena-goers, was fun, but I wasn't feeling too much chemistry from Sir T-A-L. He bought me a beer or two and we sat next to each other, but not very many of my questions to him were returned to me. For example, when I ask, 'What have been some of your best Halloween costumes over the years?' shouldn't he respond with something like, 'Incredible Hulk, a Miller Lite ref, the Morning Missile, and Hefty Smurf....HOW ABOUT YOU, 31DERFUL?' Nope, I didn't get that, which disappointed me because Halloween is my second favorite holiday and I've had, actually MADE, some great costumes. They are FABULOUS conversation pieces. I didn't offer them up, however, because, well, he didn't ask.
That's kinda how the night went. When I told my new favorite joke (Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella....?.....Fo' drizzle!), he did respond with another, not nearly equally as funny, but amusing nonetheless, joke. As we later parted ways, my girlfriend in tow, there was simply a very casual goodbye. I mean with my girlfriend right there I didn't really expect a big make-out session or anything, but it was merely a friendly, almost awkward, parting, not a 'Thanks for a great date, you totally rock, and at least a kiss on the cheek' parting.
Okay, whatever, so I'm thinking he's just not that into me. Minutes after getting in my car, however, I received a text from him (shocking) that said, 'Thx for a fun time!' I responded with something like, 'My pleasure, as soon as I'm back in town for more than 36 hours (I was gone last week and am now out of town again), we should do it again. G'night!' I didn't really know if I meant that or not, but I figured I'd throw it out there and see what he said. He expediently responded, 'Agreed, little lady. G'night.' Okaaaaayyyyy..... So maybe he IS into me. I guess we'll wait and see, but I hope he comes up with some questions next time. I can't be the only one asking things like 'Do you remember where you were when the Twin Towers were hit, What country would you most like to visit, and What good pranks did you play on your siblings when you were younger?'
It's just a little ironic, however, that had he feigned interest in me by asking more questions, I would have wound up with a lot more answers regarding this burgeoing relationship.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
To Call or Not to Call...That is the Question...
I was in Salt Lake City for work a few weeks ago. While I was there this note was left on my rental car windshield. I was in the Whole Foods parking lot. The note was written on the inside of a Trident Sugar Free Whitening Gum pack. A man who cares about his teeth! I have not called 'Kyle.' Salt Lake City, Denver, eh, I'm just not that into the long distance thing, but I wonder.... Wouldn't it have been easier for him to just walk up to me and introduce himself, rather than take the trouble to write this note? Oh well, I'd much rather receive a note like this than 'I hit your car in the parking lot!'
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
And tonight my cab driver, although not a potential in-law serial killer, was, in fact, a 400 lb man. I am not exaggerating by any stretch mark of the imagination. So while he did not tell me of any plots to murder his in-laws, had he sat or laid upon me, my ribs would have been instantly crushed, violently piercing my lungs, and quickly suffocating me. Who knew calling a cab could put me in so much peril! I thought you were supposed to call a cab to keep you safe!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Allow me to digress from dating...
The following is an account of the conversation I had with my cab driver at approximately 9:40PM this evening. He was driving me from the Jackson, Mississippi airport to my hotel.
Me: "So are you from around here?"
Driver: "Yeah, I grew up around here, but have lived other places. Lived up north in the Mississippi Delta for awhile....where the prison is."
Me (In my head): "I hope not IN the prison."
Driver: "Ya, I was a guard up there."
Me (In my head): "Phew!"
Driver: "I hated my in-laws. I had a whole plan to off them all." Allow me to repeat that. "I had a whole plan to OFF THEM ALL. I talked to other convicts and everything....figuring out a plan."
Me: "How far did you say the hotel was? I was supposed to meet a colleague there a little while ago." (Total lie.)
Driver: [Totally ignores my distance inquiry] "Well, I just decided to move back down here instead....oh we're about six minutes away from the hotel."
Me (In my head): "Oh good, perhaps UHaul should change their slogan to, 'Thinking about murdering your in-laws? Call us! We'll help you move instead!'"
Me: "So are you married?" [I decided to change the subject and attempt to develop some rapport with this guy. Perhaps if I befriended him, he would think of me as the antithesis of his in-laws.]
Driver: "Naw, not married, but I got 19 kids and 12 grandkids."
Me: "19 kids?! What's the oldest to youngest age range?"
Driver: "33 years old and 14 months."
The conversation gingerly continued from there. His birthday is July 21st. He is 51 years old and has a college degree in business administration.
I safely arrived at the hotel approximately six and a half minutes later. And it took at least an hour for me to calm down. I really hope my new job comes through soon. Not traveling so much would be fine with me.
Me: "So are you from around here?"
Driver: "Yeah, I grew up around here, but have lived other places. Lived up north in the Mississippi Delta for awhile....where the prison is."
Me (In my head): "I hope not IN the prison."
Driver: "Ya, I was a guard up there."
Me (In my head): "Phew!"
Driver: "I hated my in-laws. I had a whole plan to off them all." Allow me to repeat that. "I had a whole plan to OFF THEM ALL. I talked to other convicts and everything....figuring out a plan."
Me: "How far did you say the hotel was? I was supposed to meet a colleague there a little while ago." (Total lie.)
Driver: [Totally ignores my distance inquiry] "Well, I just decided to move back down here instead....oh we're about six minutes away from the hotel."
Me (In my head): "Oh good, perhaps UHaul should change their slogan to, 'Thinking about murdering your in-laws? Call us! We'll help you move instead!'"
Me: "So are you married?" [I decided to change the subject and attempt to develop some rapport with this guy. Perhaps if I befriended him, he would think of me as the antithesis of his in-laws.]
Driver: "Naw, not married, but I got 19 kids and 12 grandkids."
Me: "19 kids?! What's the oldest to youngest age range?"
Driver: "33 years old and 14 months."
The conversation gingerly continued from there. His birthday is July 21st. He is 51 years old and has a college degree in business administration.
I safely arrived at the hotel approximately six and a half minutes later. And it took at least an hour for me to calm down. I really hope my new job comes through soon. Not traveling so much would be fine with me.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
If Demi and Ashton can make it work....
What is my deal with the age thing? My chiropractor set me up on a lunch date today. My blind date is 1 year, 9 months, and 8 days younger than I. He is smart, good-looking, wants to have a gym in his basement eventually, has a good job, and is close with his family. He opened doors for me and took care of the check. He was a gentleman who had the business casual dress thing down. Good height, nice shoulders.
The age difference bothers me, though! Ever since my first job selling mugs with personalized pictures on them from a kiosk in the Franklin Park Mall, I have ALWAYS worked with people who are at least a few years older. Regarding my friends, I am typically one of the junior members. And, to be honest, my last boyfriend (yes, I know that it didn't work out) was eight years older, and I liked how that felt. My sisters are both younger, however, and I like to feel like their protectors (even from afar).
With this guy, it was more natural for me to feel like his older sister than his date, even though he did all of the right date things. He did, however, talk about living in the dorms during college. FYI - Once you've passed the age of 25, those stories should be reserved for long road trips, campfire chats, and those nights where you accidentally stay up until 4 in the morning talking. He has traveled very little. His friends are his age too, which means that even though he might be a particularly mature 29 year old, chances are his friends act like, well, like 29 year old guys. Sigh. In an effort to be open-minded, I will go out with him again. We already made semi-set plans to go to the Denver Aquarium, which serves food and alcohol to those of legal drinking age.
Perhaps it's just that being with him makes me feel old and as if I have to take care of him. No one likes to feel old and everyone likes to feel taken care of. One of my wise, very good girlfriends, who happens to be slightly older than I told me today that she got over the age thing when she realized that the older she becomes the more desperate she gets, so she's open to the younger guy thing now! Ironically enough she is currently crushing on a guy who is 7 years her elder. I failed to point that out to her, however, as she was impressing upon me her geriatric wisdom. ;)
Scoopability: 5
Spark Factor: Potential for a 3+ if I can get over the age thing.
The age difference bothers me, though! Ever since my first job selling mugs with personalized pictures on them from a kiosk in the Franklin Park Mall, I have ALWAYS worked with people who are at least a few years older. Regarding my friends, I am typically one of the junior members. And, to be honest, my last boyfriend (yes, I know that it didn't work out) was eight years older, and I liked how that felt. My sisters are both younger, however, and I like to feel like their protectors (even from afar).
With this guy, it was more natural for me to feel like his older sister than his date, even though he did all of the right date things. He did, however, talk about living in the dorms during college. FYI - Once you've passed the age of 25, those stories should be reserved for long road trips, campfire chats, and those nights where you accidentally stay up until 4 in the morning talking. He has traveled very little. His friends are his age too, which means that even though he might be a particularly mature 29 year old, chances are his friends act like, well, like 29 year old guys. Sigh. In an effort to be open-minded, I will go out with him again. We already made semi-set plans to go to the Denver Aquarium, which serves food and alcohol to those of legal drinking age.
Perhaps it's just that being with him makes me feel old and as if I have to take care of him. No one likes to feel old and everyone likes to feel taken care of. One of my wise, very good girlfriends, who happens to be slightly older than I told me today that she got over the age thing when she realized that the older she becomes the more desperate she gets, so she's open to the younger guy thing now! Ironically enough she is currently crushing on a guy who is 7 years her elder. I failed to point that out to her, however, as she was impressing upon me her geriatric wisdom. ;)
Scoopability: 5
Spark Factor: Potential for a 3+ if I can get over the age thing.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
When I took the ACT, I scored in the 90-something percentile. I am comfortable using multi-syllabic words like loquacious, garrulous, and gregarious in casual conversation. I cannot, for the life of me, however, figure out how this recent purchase works! How does the bronzing powder escape from its plastic prison? I swear, even Houdini could not figure out this one. Your assistance is much appreciated!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Um, okay, that was just weird....
Guy from tonight drove over an hour from where he lives in, let's just say, a rather magical part of Colorado. I had no idea prior to the date that he was driving that far. The conversation was a little forced. He lacked enthusiasm, perhaps tired from the drive and, honestly, did not appear to be that interested in me. I'm trying to grow out my eyebrows, perhaps he was perturbed by their cave woman appearance. Or maybe it was the piece of pepper that I noticed was stuck in my teeth during my drive there. I thought that I had successfully picked it out with a credit card while going 68mph, but maybe it had resurfaced! Either way, I wasn't feeling as though he was all that into the date from the start. He did have great teeth and if you added personality to his personal recipe, would likely be attractive.
Annoying thing he did: Pauses between sentences that went on for DAAAAYYYS.
Annoying thing that I did: I probably talked too much about work, but considering that the alternative was an awkward silence, I really didn't think I had much choice!
As we were walking out, I, headed to the ladies' room, he, back in the car for his haul home, he said, "So you think you'll be in (town where he lives) over Memorial Day?" I said, "Yes, I think so." And he said, "Okay, well have a good night." Um, okay...I guess you don't want to meet up in (town where he lives) because now would have been the time to ask for my number in order to facilitate that. Oh well. I walked into the ladies' room and I'm pretty sure that out loud I said, 'Wow, that was weird.'
Spark and Scoopability factors for this one need not apply!
I have two dates this Thursday, stay tuned!
Anybody care to share a strange date story?
Annoying thing he did: Pauses between sentences that went on for DAAAAYYYS.
Annoying thing that I did: I probably talked too much about work, but considering that the alternative was an awkward silence, I really didn't think I had much choice!
As we were walking out, I, headed to the ladies' room, he, back in the car for his haul home, he said, "So you think you'll be in (town where he lives) over Memorial Day?" I said, "Yes, I think so." And he said, "Okay, well have a good night." Um, okay...I guess you don't want to meet up in (town where he lives) because now would have been the time to ask for my number in order to facilitate that. Oh well. I walked into the ladies' room and I'm pretty sure that out loud I said, 'Wow, that was weird.'
Spark and Scoopability factors for this one need not apply!
I have two dates this Thursday, stay tuned!
Anybody care to share a strange date story?
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Sir Text-A-Lot
I met Sir Text A Lot at an 80s party a couple of weekends ago. He was wearing a cream-colored tuxedo, complete with tails, a pink cummerbund and matching pink bow tie. Oh, and Ray Bans. It was very well done. I, in my Benetton shirt, side ponytail, blue eyeliner, and leg warmers had good times with him on the dance floor. That was Friday. Then for the entire day on Saturday AND Sunday he sent me innocuous text messages...'How is your day going?' 'What are you up to?' 'Did you get your errands finished?' 'I am counting down the hours until I leave work.' This went on for TWO WHOLE DAYS, but there was never a request for a date. I played along, but was kind of like, WTF?? I credit my friend, Katie, with cleverly coming up with his logical nickname. Thanks, Katie!Anyhoo, a week and a half later he finally did ask for the date, which I went on last night. We met up kind of late and both had to get up early this morning, so we limited our date to just a few drinks at a neighborhood bar. What he lacks in the finesse of text messaging, he makes up for in person. He played college football on a scholarship, played in a Rose Bowl even! Has his MBA, is an avid participant in the Colorado sports, i.e. mountain and road biking, is close with family, and went out of his way to hold the door open for me.
It was the best first date I've been on in a LONG time!
Scoopability: 5+
Spark Factor: 4.1
Stay tuned....
Thursday, May 8, 2008
OMG, it was my ex-boyfriend!
Or perhaps, it was the long-lost twin he never knew he had! Not my recent ex, but one from a few years ago, Schwartz (yes, that's his real name), was practically sitting across the lunch table from me today. Same height, same physique, same voice, same mannerisms, from the same state, oh my god was it reminiscent of days past! The place where Schwartz and I used to pick up carry-out even happened to be right on the same block as the restaurant where I was now sitting across from his twin.
Having been raised Catholic, when I first started dating Schwartz, a Jewish guy, I was at first slightly apprehensive seeing as though our faiths differed quite significantly. My family is huge on Christmas, his clearly isn't. I thought this was going to be a big deal until I realized, 'Wait a sec! I'll NEVER have to spend Christmas with his family. It's a guaranteed way to always be with mine, whom clearly I would prefer anyhow!' What a discovery that was.
Schwartz and I had a fun 10 month stint and broke up basically because he was a great guy and I liked him an awful lot, but wasn't in love with him. That was about three years ago. I've been over him for awhile now. Last week, I confirmed the fact that I am actually 100%, truly over that relationship because I had the opportunity to run over him and his new girlfriend as they unknowingly cruised right in front of my car on their matching bicycles. I totally could have 'Hit and Run' and no one would have been the wiser. Instead, however, I happily smiled at them, nodded my head, and thought, 'Wow, that is wonderful. I'm sincerely and genuinely happy for him.'
Another sign is when you see your ex with a new girl and it doesn't bother you one little bit. What have been your 'I'm really over him/her' moments?
Oh, the date....I'm sorry, it was just so hard to separate the new Schwartz from the old, but very likeable guy.
Scoopability - 1.5
Spark Factor - 3
I may actually hang out with this one again, although it is the first check I've split.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
What's in a name?
Okay, honestly, when you picture a guy named, let's say 'Melvin,' what do you picture? Be honest!!! I did not go out with 'Melvin' last night, but something tantamount. He arrived at the bar before I did. As the hostess guided me to the area where my date was sitting in sea of potentially eligible bachelors, I immediately picked him out. He was not the guy who had his laptop bag sitting beside him, nor the hottie who had his Adidas bag underneath the bar stool where I would soon be sitting. Nope, there he was, hunched a little forward with a very warm, friendly, welcoming smile. I honestly wanted to immediately hug him when I met him because he looked like the kind of guy who would never harm a flea and would ALWAYS go get frozen yogurt with me.
Instead of the big bear hug that you'd deliver to your favorite uncle, I gave him a big smile and introduced myself. I proceeded to order a tall vodka soda...he was already drinking a Scotch on the rocks...and the convo ensued.
The best part: It was an enjoyable hour of conversation with a new friend. He also taught me about some medically approved machine that delivers an abs workout without any exertion on the part of the person with said abs. He said he lost an inch around his middle the first time he did it. Intrigued? I am!
The worst part: Not a sports fan, whatsoever. He lived in Manhattan for a few years and NEVER went to Yankee Stadium. Never! Can you believe that?! I'm flying there this summer specifically so I can see a game in the historically famed stadium while it's in its final season.
Turnoff: As we parted ways, we shook hands. Are you familiar with the dead fish handshake? Yes, that's what it was. When I was 9 years old my grandma taught me how to shake hands and I'm a girl. Oh boy....anyhow....
Turnon: He was not scary, offensive, aggressive, or egotistical. He made several funny comments.
Summary:
He paid.
Scoopability: 2 out of 5
Spark factor: 0.74 (I'm sorry, the handshake thing was creepy.)
Number exchange? He asked, I gave him mine. I'd be happy to hang out with him again, although it probably won't be at a baseball game!
The name thing, though, I'm really wondering....Are there any Melvins, Marvins, Dwaynes, or Freds whom you know that go by their full first name and are cool? On the flip-side, are there any Dillons, Codys, or Trevors whom you know who are nerdy? Does the name make the person or the person make the name?
Instead of the big bear hug that you'd deliver to your favorite uncle, I gave him a big smile and introduced myself. I proceeded to order a tall vodka soda...he was already drinking a Scotch on the rocks...and the convo ensued.
The best part: It was an enjoyable hour of conversation with a new friend. He also taught me about some medically approved machine that delivers an abs workout without any exertion on the part of the person with said abs. He said he lost an inch around his middle the first time he did it. Intrigued? I am!
The worst part: Not a sports fan, whatsoever. He lived in Manhattan for a few years and NEVER went to Yankee Stadium. Never! Can you believe that?! I'm flying there this summer specifically so I can see a game in the historically famed stadium while it's in its final season.
Turnoff: As we parted ways, we shook hands. Are you familiar with the dead fish handshake? Yes, that's what it was. When I was 9 years old my grandma taught me how to shake hands and I'm a girl. Oh boy....anyhow....
Turnon: He was not scary, offensive, aggressive, or egotistical. He made several funny comments.
Summary:
He paid.
Scoopability: 2 out of 5
Spark factor: 0.74 (I'm sorry, the handshake thing was creepy.)
Number exchange? He asked, I gave him mine. I'd be happy to hang out with him again, although it probably won't be at a baseball game!
The name thing, though, I'm really wondering....Are there any Melvins, Marvins, Dwaynes, or Freds whom you know that go by their full first name and are cool? On the flip-side, are there any Dillons, Codys, or Trevors whom you know who are nerdy? Does the name make the person or the person make the name?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Chocolate Melts - Don't Forget!
A friendly service reminder that if you leave a piece of chocolate in your car as temperatures rise, you will might be sorry! If you leave a piece of half-eaten chocolate which has the ability to ooze out of the already opened wrapper in your laptop bag, near the cord that charges your iPod, you'll be even sorrier. Consider yourself warned!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Wall Street
His looks: About 5'10", well-dressed in a suit and tie (I had almost worn jeans, but changed my mind at the last minute. Good thing!) Dark hair, dark eyes, of Mexican descent.
The convo: Business and travel. Wall Street has his MBA and now works for a banking/venture capital firm. He was in Russia last year about this time and tried a variety of their local cuisine. Main courses of horse and goose were two mentioned. I had to resist making a face. I've had pig's ear and duck tongue, however, so it was interesting to compare notes.
Best part: Discussing strange massages that I've had in Asia and hearing about his rugby team. It's minor league or something fairly big time. Perhaps I'll go see a game.
Least favorite thing that he said: Went into too long of an etiquette discussion regarding blowing your nose at the table and how it's a bad idea. It was the kind of thing that if you were hearing yourself saying it out loud, in your head you'd be saying "Stop talking! Stop talking!" Oh well, I'll chalk it up to first date jitters.
2nd date? Well, I've already been invited to a wine-tasting tonight. Tonight?! There's a final basketball game on, duh! He said I could bring a friend, so if I can find a girlfriend to go, I might go for an hour or so before the game.
Who paid? He did, I offered, but he said, "I'll get it this time...you get it next time?" Um, okay....or I'll use you to get some free wine tonight! Ha, ha.
Spark factor: 1.7 out of 5
Bachelor #4 is on deck for tomorrow night!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
If you know someone going through a break-up...
Here are the things that the break-up (which was a partial catalyst for this blog) has taught me. If you know someone going through one, perhaps sharing this information will help him or her. In my situation it was helpful to know that I was not the only to feel these things.
A Break-Up is Difficult for 4 Specific Reasons:
The reason that break-ups are so difficult is because you are dealing with essentially four things that taken by themselves are emotionally strenuous. The combination of the four very naturally makes you feel completely hopeless and understandably shatters your spirit.
1. You lose your best friend. The person in your life who is more familiar with your current events, thoughts, and opinions than anyone else and vice-versa, goes away. You lose that closeness, familiarity, and comfort in having that person to talk and listen to numerous times throughout the day. Just as if you were drastically separated from any best friend, that separation is sure to be devastating.
2. You lose your boyfriend. The hugs and kisses that you once appreciated receiving and giving on a daily basis are gone. Studies have shown that human touch increases health. So in addition to feeling emotionally distraught, your immune system and physical health may very well be compromised. We all know how not feeling well can easily put us in a bad mood.
3. You must adjust to being alone. Not having your full-time and part-time wingman for 9PM trips to Target, spontaneous Sunday breakfasts, and review of SportsCenter’s Top Ten feats is a major adjustment. Receiving a wedding invitation in the mail where the “And Guest” now stares you in the face and laughs makes you feel frustrated and lonely all over again.
4. Lastly, you are terrified that you’ll never be able to regain the deep, significant, and genuine emotional, mental, physical, sometimes even telepathic connection that you once had with that person. It is frightening to think that you’ll never be able to return to the euphoric land in which this inspiring and secure relationship existed. It is an enigma that only becomes harder to face the older you become.
So, my heart goes out to anyone who is going through a break-up because you are dealing with all of these elements violently slamming together. Taken individually they are incredibly challenging. Dealing with the combination can very reasonably seem insurmountable.
What I Did and Am Doing to Get (almost) Over It
1. I cried A LOT. At home, in private, in public, on airplanes, in elevators, in hotels, in the car (can be dangerous while driving), while on the phone, while checking email, while watching TV, while working out (which makes breathing for cardiac purposes that much more difficult), at friends’ houses, and almost everywhere in between. There were no tear-free zones.
2. I got angry, I got sad, I got resentful, I felt sorry for myself, I got jealous, I felt hopeless, I was mean to my mom. I did not force myself to go out and be social. I stayed home and pouted.
3. I immersed myself in new projects, sewing, for example. I rid my home of all pictures and other pertinent reminders of him. I adamantly tried to remove all of the god d*!m dog hair.
4. I listened to my friends and family. I let people hug me and I let them see me cry. I asked for help. I read books recommended by others who had been through similar situations and I started keeping a gratitude journal. I took over the counter drugs to help me sleep. Fatigue and exhaustion only exacerbate problems.
5. I requested that his and my communication be almost entirely cut-off…no calling or texting. When told that “these things build character,” I often pondered just how much character one person needs. My realization is that, perhaps, it’s not how much character I need for me, but how much character I need to help others and hopefully be some sort of an angel to them. That realization made me take a deep breath, nod my head, and say, “okay, I get it.”
6. I faced my family (not living in the same city I hadn’t seen them). I had to make it past that. I’m still trying to figure out why, but it was necessary and afterward I felt better.
7. Time, time, time. There’s clearly no scientific formula to calculate how much time you’ll need. I don’t claim to be fully over him yet, but I am at a much more peaceful place now than I was two months ago…two months ago tomorrow to be exact. He will always and forever have a part of my heart and a portion of me will never be over him. That’s a lot of what makes me, me and testament to just how authentic of a relationship we had.
8. I accepted the fact that I may relapse, but now know that I CAN feel better. Personally, I’m not good at forcing that, but allowing it to naturally happen, means that it will happen, even if only in small intervals. I express appreciation for these fleeting moments that are slowly, but surely leaving their ‘fleeting’ status and becoming more substantial.
In the words of Bon Jovi, "There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease!" Hopefully, however, these things may help someone in need.
A Break-Up is Difficult for 4 Specific Reasons:
The reason that break-ups are so difficult is because you are dealing with essentially four things that taken by themselves are emotionally strenuous. The combination of the four very naturally makes you feel completely hopeless and understandably shatters your spirit.
1. You lose your best friend. The person in your life who is more familiar with your current events, thoughts, and opinions than anyone else and vice-versa, goes away. You lose that closeness, familiarity, and comfort in having that person to talk and listen to numerous times throughout the day. Just as if you were drastically separated from any best friend, that separation is sure to be devastating.
2. You lose your boyfriend. The hugs and kisses that you once appreciated receiving and giving on a daily basis are gone. Studies have shown that human touch increases health. So in addition to feeling emotionally distraught, your immune system and physical health may very well be compromised. We all know how not feeling well can easily put us in a bad mood.
3. You must adjust to being alone. Not having your full-time and part-time wingman for 9PM trips to Target, spontaneous Sunday breakfasts, and review of SportsCenter’s Top Ten feats is a major adjustment. Receiving a wedding invitation in the mail where the “And Guest” now stares you in the face and laughs makes you feel frustrated and lonely all over again.
4. Lastly, you are terrified that you’ll never be able to regain the deep, significant, and genuine emotional, mental, physical, sometimes even telepathic connection that you once had with that person. It is frightening to think that you’ll never be able to return to the euphoric land in which this inspiring and secure relationship existed. It is an enigma that only becomes harder to face the older you become.
So, my heart goes out to anyone who is going through a break-up because you are dealing with all of these elements violently slamming together. Taken individually they are incredibly challenging. Dealing with the combination can very reasonably seem insurmountable.
What I Did and Am Doing to Get (almost) Over It
1. I cried A LOT. At home, in private, in public, on airplanes, in elevators, in hotels, in the car (can be dangerous while driving), while on the phone, while checking email, while watching TV, while working out (which makes breathing for cardiac purposes that much more difficult), at friends’ houses, and almost everywhere in between. There were no tear-free zones.
2. I got angry, I got sad, I got resentful, I felt sorry for myself, I got jealous, I felt hopeless, I was mean to my mom. I did not force myself to go out and be social. I stayed home and pouted.
3. I immersed myself in new projects, sewing, for example. I rid my home of all pictures and other pertinent reminders of him. I adamantly tried to remove all of the god d*!m dog hair.
4. I listened to my friends and family. I let people hug me and I let them see me cry. I asked for help. I read books recommended by others who had been through similar situations and I started keeping a gratitude journal. I took over the counter drugs to help me sleep. Fatigue and exhaustion only exacerbate problems.
5. I requested that his and my communication be almost entirely cut-off…no calling or texting. When told that “these things build character,” I often pondered just how much character one person needs. My realization is that, perhaps, it’s not how much character I need for me, but how much character I need to help others and hopefully be some sort of an angel to them. That realization made me take a deep breath, nod my head, and say, “okay, I get it.”
6. I faced my family (not living in the same city I hadn’t seen them). I had to make it past that. I’m still trying to figure out why, but it was necessary and afterward I felt better.
7. Time, time, time. There’s clearly no scientific formula to calculate how much time you’ll need. I don’t claim to be fully over him yet, but I am at a much more peaceful place now than I was two months ago…two months ago tomorrow to be exact. He will always and forever have a part of my heart and a portion of me will never be over him. That’s a lot of what makes me, me and testament to just how authentic of a relationship we had.
8. I accepted the fact that I may relapse, but now know that I CAN feel better. Personally, I’m not good at forcing that, but allowing it to naturally happen, means that it will happen, even if only in small intervals. I express appreciation for these fleeting moments that are slowly, but surely leaving their ‘fleeting’ status and becoming more substantial.
In the words of Bon Jovi, "There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease!" Hopefully, however, these things may help someone in need.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
He stood me up!
Okay, well not really, but the date I was supposed to have tonight had to go out out town for work. The MMS (matchmaking service) called to tell me this past Thursday. I should know by early this week when the re-scheduled date will occur. Hopefully this Sunday.
Attached is a picture of the shoes I wore on Saturday night. It was a disco, 70's themed night. The dollar is there to give you perspective on just how high these suckers are...6 inches to be exact! The dollar also represents the kind of money that I could make if I ever decide to ditch my current employment and wear these shoes on a full time basis. Ha!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Allow me to clarify...
While in the interview for the matchmaking service, I was asked to describe my ideal man. It may sound crazy to say that I prefer a man who is approximately 6 feet tall because I am 5' 2.5," but it's my ideal, right? So I get to pick the starting point of what I want. And, lest we forget, I am paying for this, so all the more reason I get to make my ala cart menu selections.
Incidentally, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Leonardo DiCaprio are all 5'11". Hmm, perhaps I'll adjust my initial request!
In case you were wondering, other things I requested include a guy who has positive energy and an optimistic outlook on life. That might be the same thing. He comes from a healthy family background, is witty, well-read, driven, and takes care of himself. He likes to laugh and is definitely not afraid to call me out on stuff. Anybody have a nominee??
Incidentally, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Leonardo DiCaprio are all 5'11". Hmm, perhaps I'll adjust my initial request!
In case you were wondering, other things I requested include a guy who has positive energy and an optimistic outlook on life. That might be the same thing. He comes from a healthy family background, is witty, well-read, driven, and takes care of himself. He likes to laugh and is definitely not afraid to call me out on stuff. Anybody have a nominee??
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Bubba Gump
Bubba Gump makes you think of what sea creature?! Right! Shrimp! The reasons I chose this name are twofold: One, he ordered a shrimp appetizer for us. Two, well, he wasn't as tall as was described to me over the phone. Disclaimer: Things written on this blog should only be interpreted as sarcastically light-hearted, not malicious, by any means.
His looks: About 5'7", lighter colored hair, brown eyes, in good shape. Teeth were slightly crooked, as if he had braces at one point, but never wore his retainers. (I still have mine and pop in the top one every so often.)
The convo: BG is well-traveled, so it was fun to hear his stories about various 3rd and 1st world areas where he has been. He owns his own business, has a large variety of interests and abilities. This was discussed in not the least bit of an arrogant way.
Best part: Time went by very fast and I was genuinely interested in what he had to say. We had several of those roundabout conversations...you know, where one conversation starts and it goes out into all kinds of different directions, but eventually you make it back to where it started.
Least favorite thing that he said: Two different times BG invited me to join him for events that take place two months from now and are in a different city. Perhaps being open and invitational, but jumping the gun a little bit for a first date.
Annoying thing that I did: I literally was removing nail polish from my nails in the car en route to this date, so during the date I was inadvertently picking at my cuticles at fairly consistent intervals...I'm pretty sure!
2nd date? Perhaps, more so to establish a friendship with this guy. He does all kinds of crazy mountain sports and has a bunch of the gear. It would be fun to learn a new activity, i.e. rock climbing, from him.
Who paid? He did, I offered, but he refused. We had a couple glasses of wine and, of course, shrimp.
Number exchange: I did not have any cards on me, so he gave me his, but not before saying in a point-blank manner, "So do you want to go out again?" I appreciate the straightforwardness.
Spark factor: 1 out of 5
Date with Bachelor # 3 is scheduled for Sunday....
His looks: About 5'7", lighter colored hair, brown eyes, in good shape. Teeth were slightly crooked, as if he had braces at one point, but never wore his retainers. (I still have mine and pop in the top one every so often.)
The convo: BG is well-traveled, so it was fun to hear his stories about various 3rd and 1st world areas where he has been. He owns his own business, has a large variety of interests and abilities. This was discussed in not the least bit of an arrogant way.
Best part: Time went by very fast and I was genuinely interested in what he had to say. We had several of those roundabout conversations...you know, where one conversation starts and it goes out into all kinds of different directions, but eventually you make it back to where it started.
Least favorite thing that he said: Two different times BG invited me to join him for events that take place two months from now and are in a different city. Perhaps being open and invitational, but jumping the gun a little bit for a first date.
Annoying thing that I did: I literally was removing nail polish from my nails in the car en route to this date, so during the date I was inadvertently picking at my cuticles at fairly consistent intervals...I'm pretty sure!
2nd date? Perhaps, more so to establish a friendship with this guy. He does all kinds of crazy mountain sports and has a bunch of the gear. It would be fun to learn a new activity, i.e. rock climbing, from him.
Who paid? He did, I offered, but he refused. We had a couple glasses of wine and, of course, shrimp.
Number exchange: I did not have any cards on me, so he gave me his, but not before saying in a point-blank manner, "So do you want to go out again?" I appreciate the straightforwardness.
Spark factor: 1 out of 5
Date with Bachelor # 3 is scheduled for Sunday....
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Southern Hospitality
Today was my first date delivered via the match-making service. Southern Hospitality, hereafter referred to as SH met me for lunch.
His looks: Tall, beautiful blue eyes, in good shape, dressed well, but not trendy, needed chapstick.
The convo: SH travels quite a bit for work as well, so we traded notes on different cities. He's only lived in Denver about three months, so he was asking a lot of questions about what to do, where to live, mountain activities, etc.
Best part: Conversation was very easy. We laughed a few times.
Least favorite thing that he said: "My birthday was March 5th, so it's not too late, you could still get me something," then proceeded to look out the window and point out the liquor store and ice cream shop both located across the street where I could buy him a present. It was meant to be funny, I'm sure, but came across as tacky. Little does he know that my birthday is in less than a week.
2nd date? Eh, probably not. What's a nice way of saying that he's just too nice? I don't want a criminal, but someone who is not afraid to get in some innocent trouble, i.e., getting away with a make-out session somewhere, would be nice.
Who paid? He did, I offered, but he refused. Good manners. I gave him my number.
Spark factor: Not much of one...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Dating Q&A
Q: How much time does it take for a man to determine whether or not he wants to see a woman again?
A: 15 Minutes
The answer for women is one hour!
Q: What are the Top 4 Conversation Killers?
A: Past relationships—49%, dieting or body image—21%, politics—15% and marriage—15%
Q: What percentage of men prefer brunettes over blondes?
A: 76%
Q: What are the chances of liking a date set up by a friend?
A: 17%
Q: What are the top cuisine choices for a first date?
A: 46% Italian, 19% Steakhouse, 16% Japanese, 11% Mexican, 8% French
Q: Where do 74% of single women say is a great place to meet men?
A: Baseball games
A: 15 Minutes
The answer for women is one hour!
Q: What are the Top 4 Conversation Killers?
A: Past relationships—49%, dieting or body image—21%, politics—15% and marriage—15%
Q: What percentage of men prefer brunettes over blondes?
A: 76%
Q: What are the chances of liking a date set up by a friend?
A: 17%
Q: What are the top cuisine choices for a first date?
A: 46% Italian, 19% Steakhouse, 16% Japanese, 11% Mexican, 8% French
Q: Where do 74% of single women say is a great place to meet men?
A: Baseball games
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Just practicing...
This is a picture of my dad on his 4th birthday. Cute, eh?! I'd really love to be able to move all of this text over to left. Guess I'll figure that out soon. enough.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)