Thursday, April 9, 2009

It's so hard to say good-bye...

I've been contemplating the fate of this blog. My birthday was last week, which technically makes me ineligible to be 31derful any longer. I haven't come up with anything good for 32 yet. The only thing I can think of is 32-lowitzski, which is the name of the short stop for the Colorado Rockies. It doesn't have quite the same ring. Any ideas?

I've enjoyed sharing my dating stories with you and I wish I could tell you that they've ceased. The update on Indiana is that we dated for almost four months, but I learned that you don't really know someone until you see how he faces and deals with conflict. His passive aggressive/game-playing style differs significantly from my own. I couldn't navigate through his sarcasm and it really turned me off. So, that is over and I think I might just take a break from dating for awhile. It doesn't seem worth it right now. Someone always gets hurt. I don't want to be the hurt-ee or the hurt-er. No one does, right?

Oh, remember Colt? The one who joined me for a business meeting that really seemed more like a date? Well, I recently found out that not only does he have a girlfriend, but actually she is his FIANCE. What a dog. Sheesh.

So, this is my intention for the universe, God, and everyone to hear. I would like nothing more in life than to find my life partner. I'd like to find the one who gives me butterflies, a sense of security, shares my values, playfully teases me, likes to have fun, is athletic, and has his act together. I also need to take time to heal from a year that provided amusing dates, but was also a tumultuous emotional roller coaster. That might be slightly redundant (tumultuous and emotional), but I think it's apropos anyhow.

Thank you very much for reading, commenting, and supporting me. I hope you enjoyed it. Please wish me luck in my future endeavors. I'll leave you with a paraphrase of the final written words of Christopher McCandless, the college-aged kid who decided to shun society and isolate himself in Alaska (as told via the book or movie Into the Wild)...."True happiness is only achieved when shared with others." I agree wholeheartedly. May we all find that person with whom we may share that genuine happiness.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Double Date

I highly recommend the following: 2 dates in one night!!!

It worked out perfectly and the best part....I only had to get ready one time!

My first date was happy hour with Chad. We met at a swanky hotel bar downtown. He showed up bearing a gift. It was a pink fanny pack purchased at a knock-off store and still sporting the price tag. I cracked up. Great way to break the ice for a blind date! I had two vodka sodas there and then said I needed to go to dinner to meet up with a guy who is helping me network for work. No questions asked. It worked perfectly!

Well, I showed up to dinner, already fairly tipsy, and at that time remembered that this guy is a Sommelier, aka wine expert. So I'll have to drink at least a glass, if not two, of wine. Oops, that was the part I didn't plan for...and I really wasn't planning on getting drunk on a Monday night.

Well, a delicious seafood dinner and two full glasses of red wine later we decide it's time to call it a night. Thank god. I'm definitely drunk at this point and trying hard to fake sobriety. I'm pretty sure there was a kiss goodnight and off I was home to my place, alone, but satisfied from a full night of dating!

If you are confused about the time line here, I'll just say, that this evening occurred in the very beginning stages of my interaction with Indiana, whom I also told that night that I had networking events to attend. It WAS networking, after all, just not the work-related kind!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Vocabulary is sexy....

Indiana has used the words 'culpable' and 'nebulous' in a sentence AND... has used them correctly. He also knows the difference between 'further' and 'farther.' His magazine subscriptions include Runner's World and The Economist. He always opens my door and thinks the world of his mom. He knows when to tease and when to empathize.

I could really have something here....

:)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Pillow Talk

This following happened several weeks ago...aka, prior to Valentine's Day.

I'm in a pool of bachelorettes for a matchmaking service. This is separate from the It's Just Lunch dates. The woman who owns the matchmaking service works for the men. They pay her about $3K to essentially find them a mate. So I'm in her pool of potentials 'mates.'

She'd been trying for weeks to set me up with Jon. Between my travel schedule and his work schedule, we were having issues meeting up for our first date, when it finally dawned on her that he owns a business at the airport (my second home), so why don't we meet up there? Perfect! I was landing at 3PM on Wednesday of that week. 'He'll meet you at your gate,' Miss Matchmaker said.

My flight home was a short one...a little over an hour. Apparently I was quite tired that day because I fell asleep before the wheels even left the ground and slept so hard that I had to actually lift up the window shade to see if we had landed. In a complete daze, I tried to wake myself up knowing that Prince Charming Potential was going to be right there at the gate. I was sooo out of it, though, still completely in la-la, dreamland. I checked myself out in my compact mirror and while I was relieved not to have any makeup under my eyes (god bless smudge proof mascara), I did have very prominent pillow marks engraved in my face. If anyone has an instant cure for these, please let me know, because I had no idea how to get rid of them in a pinch.

So I walk off the plane and instantly spot Jon. I walk up to him, flash as peppy of a smile as I can, and introduce myself. He hugs and kisses, yes, kisses me on the lips. I mean it was only a little peck, but still, kinda forward! And it only added to sleep-induced confusion, but he took my bag for me and handed me a gift certificate to his store. 'Wow, this is great,' I thought. I liked the personal concierge service.

I own up to my hard core snooze...difficult to deny with pillow marks illuminating my face and he says, 'Ya, you look a little tired.' Well, that's fabulous, I thought. Anyhoo...I politely excused myself to the ladies' room, freshened up, and then we made our way to the main terminal for some tea.

It was a pleasant date and I'll go out with him again. Next time, I'll be sure that it's not approximately 2.3 minutes after I wake up!

Monday, February 16, 2009

A picture speaks a thousand words...


While I usually do not shy away from details, I'm going to be a bit aloof on this post. I'll just say that I had one of the best, if not THE best Valentine's Days ever. The photo you see is what greeted me when I arrived at my date's house on Saturday night. He cooked dinner for me and had the items you see, including a stuffed bear holding a heart that said, 'Be Mine,' a lit candle, cherry-flavored Hershey kisses, a really, really sweet card, and a dozen long stem, de-thorned, red roses, sitting on the already set dining room table. Yesssss, it was very, very sweet and nice. I'll call him my Valentine any day.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The morning after....

So I wake up the morning after the vomiting at about 7:30. I'm laying in bed with my hands on my forehead, both easing the pain of the slight headache I have and just cringing in embarrassment about what had happened the night before. I'm rehearsing the contrite voicemail I'm going to leave him sometime soon.

As I'm laying there my door bell buzzes and I immediately blame the FedEx man for disturbing me so early. There's no way I'm getting up. He rings the bell AGAIN. I'm completely annoyed at this point, so I get up and look out the window. No FedEx truck, no UPS truck either. Maybe one of my neighbors is locked out. So I push the button to talk and in a highly irritated voice I ask, 'Who is it??!!' A male voice responds, '31derful, it's Indiana.' OMG!!! What is he doing here??? Did he sleep in his car?? He'd had quite a few adult beverages too. And wasn't it enough that he heard me puke? Now he has to see me with mascara smeared under my eyes, unbrushed teeth, and wearing boxers and a ratty (but oh-so comfortable) tank top? This was only getting worse.

Well, I let him in and he starts saying something, but I shush him and say, 'Gimme a sec, K?' I make a quick dash to do a 30 second clean-up and get dressed effort and walk back out in the living room.

'I didn't come over to stay. I shouldn't have left last night,' he says.

'Oh no,' I say, 'You definitely should have left last night.'

'No, I left and then I was really worried about you. What if you got back in bed, got sick again in your sleep, and choked?! I tried to call your phone, but it was off, so...I didn't come over to stay, I just needed to make sure you were all right.'

Wow, seriously? How sweet is that? Indiana scored some huge points. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and true to his word, he left shortly after. Then he sent me a friend request on Facebook later that morning. I guess he and I both survived my too-much-to-drink-debacle. Phew, that was a close one!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"I really like making out with you, but I feel a little nauseous."

So remember Indiana? The guy from NYE whom I thought blew me off, but really didn't? Well, we went out again about a week later. It was a fabulous night, but let's just say not one of my most shining moments! Read on to experience my embarrassment...



He picked me up around 6:30 and we went for Indian food. Neither one of us was in the mood to drink as we'd both had our fill over the weekend. So, okay, we plan to order water or ice tea, at least that was the plan...We sit down and see the beer menu staring at us, calling to us, and so we both order India beers. Who are we to deny the full ethnic experience, right? It's at least a half an hour before we even look at the menus. We're talk, talk, talking about all kinds of things...and not just general things...rather things that actually matter like the kind of relationship we have with our parents and how no one over the age of 9 should wear Croc's.



We finally order food and another round of drinks. I'm having a great time and really enjoying his company. It's just really easy being with him.



We leave dinner. He refused to let me pay and we start discussing where to next. "Should we try to think of a non-drinking activity?" I asked. "Like Starbucks?" he replied. "Sure," I said. "Well, we could go to Starbucks, but we did already START drinking, so maybe we should just keep rolling with it." I quickly agreed. I'm very agreeable when I'm flirting.



I then have the oh-so-fabulous idea to try this new bar which serves Belgian beers. Little do I make the connection that Belgian beers are HIGH OCTANE - like two for one kind of deal. We belly up to the bar, I taste a few and decide on one that had approximately 9% alcohol content. We laugh and talk and even danced around a little bit and consumed two more beers a piece at this place. It was turning into a really fun evening.



We leave the Belgian bar and head for my place. I asked if he wanted to come in and he said sure. He's a runner like I am and had just bought a foam roller which can be used to stretch your legs, glutes, back, etc. It's awesome. I highly recommend it. Anyhow, we start drinking red wine and rolling all over the floor on my foam rollers. I have two. Before you know it, we're kind of snuggling/kissing on the living room floor. 'This date is going so great! I'm having a blast with this guy,' I happily thought. My stomach, however, had alterior and evil motives...



Allow me to briefly make the disclaimer that while I don't drink all that frequently anymore, I can hold my alcohol. I went to a Big Ten school and along with Calculus learned how not to be the girl whose hair you have to hold back while she gets sick on the dance floor in the middle of the bar.



That said, as Indiana and I are romantically laying on the floor, all of a sudden, my stomach urgently decides that it disagrees with this situation. "Um, Indiana, I really like making out with you, but I think I'm gonna be nauseous." I get up, briskly walk to my bathroom which is only ten feet away from the living room, shut the door, and totally barf. It was awful. I wanted to lock the doors, break a window, and jump out. I wanted to absolutely DIE. I was MORTIFIED. The entire time I dated Mr. Wrong, I only got sick once and made him leave his own house, to ensure that he would not hear the sexy noises I make as vomit escapes my mouth. Indiana completely heard it because the bathroom proximity to my living room does not work in my favor.



After brushing my teeth and gathering a lot of courage, I finally vacated the bathroom and couldn't even look him in the face. "Maybe I should go," he mumbled a bit. "Yeesss, that's probably a good idea. Indiana, I'm so embarrassed, I just don't even know what to say. I swear to god that I'm not that girl who can't hold her liquor." He seemed to think it was no big deal, gave me a gentle hug, a kiss on the cheek, and headed out the door. Immediately as the door closed I had to run, yes, run back to the bathroom, to get sick yet again.



Oh my god...I put a note in my Blackberry to call AA in the morning to get a list of alcohol-free activities you can do for dates...not that I'll ever have one again with Indiana. Sheesh....

He totally has a girlfriend - Punk!

Well as it turns out Colt does, in fact, have a girlfriend. Can you believe that?! I'm glad I'm not her. I don't think I'd want my boyfriend to be leading on girls the way that Colt did to me. What a punk.

He still does not know, however, that I know that he has a girlfriend. This has been kind of a fun trump card to have in my back pocket as we continue to communicate. My friend Chris discovered this clandestine information. Chris is involved in Colt's industry and just happened to mention that he was having a business meeting with him. "Wait a second! You're having a business meeting with Colt Smith?! You've got to do some digging for me!" I eagerly requested of him. With bells on, Chris complied with my wishes and reported back that his due diligence resulted in confirmation of a girlfriend (whom he had actually met). He also said, "31derful, he is NOT your intellectual equal. You can do better." "Duh," I humbly said, "He's not the man I'm going to marry, he's just supposed to be fun rebound guy to whom I don't have to become emotionally attached! I just need somebody to play with for a little while." I am not, however, a home wrecker and am too respectful of karma and my values to hone in on someone else's boyfriend. I regularly practice the golden rule as well.

So, no go on subsequent dates, but maybe he has cute friends....

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Business Meeting or Date? You Decide!

I was attending an Angel Investor Entrepreneurial Convention. The entrepreneurs pitch their ideas with the intention of attracting investment money needed for their new businesses to grow.


There were A LOT of guys at this convention, mostly mid-40s to mid-50s and married, but there were a few younger gentleman who were smart and well dressed. I was very much in the minority as a younger, single female. Fine with me!


"Colt" was one of the entrepreneurs pitching his idea. The idea, incidentally, has to do with environmental sustainability, which is the career direction in which I'm trying to move. I went up to him and introduced myself after he delivered his pitch. He immediately used my name as I extended my hand. Sure, I had on a nametag, but I thought it was nice that I didn't have to say, 'My name is....' He gave me his card and I emailed him later that week with some made-up, but seemingly legitimate business suggestion. I closed the email by typing..."I'd be happy to meet with you for coffee or a cocktail sometime to discuss." He responded in under 12 hours and said, "Yes, let's get a cocktail. What does your schedule look like next week?" That's a good sign, right?


We met for happy hour on a really cold night. He called to say that he was running late, so I asked for his drink order. We were both drinking vodka sodas. We finished the first round of drinks and he suggested another round. "I'll get this one," he said. 'Okay,' I thought, most BUSINESS meetings do not involve more than one round of beverages and if they do, it's usually beers, not liquor, but I'm game. Our conversation had already left my contrived business idea anyhow and we were discussing our childhood, vacations, mountain activities, etc.


He brings back the drinks, suggests ordering food, which we do, and after over 2 hours, he takes care of the tab and we make a verbal list of all of our 'action items' from this 'meeting.' They involved things like visiting the planetarium, exchanging some books, and definitely meeting up for some outdoor winter-time activities. Sounds more boyfriend than business partner to me, but what do I know?


We walk outside the restaurant, he walks me to my car (this has never happened even once after a business meeting), gives me a hug good-bye, and says he'll be in touch soon. Approximately 45 minutes later I receive a text message from him....'Really enjoyed the conversation. Have a great night.' 'Ha!' I thought, that was TOTALLY a date. My staged business-meeting ploy worked!


The next day I even got an email from him asking me to clarify the name of a book recommendation I'd given him. He totally wants me...


Hunger Pains!

I met Charlie (we'll call him Charlie) via the fitness website. In his photos he is HOT....like Jake Ryan hot in 16 Candles or like high school football quarterback hot. Perhaps a little out of my league, I thought, but, hey, he contacted me, so why not go for it?!

We met for lunch and when I saw him, I hope my poker face was working. He did not resemble the chisled hottie with incredible jaw bones whom I had seen in the picutres. He was very skinny, with a waist line possibly smaller than mine and my immediate thought was that he MUST be on drugs or gay. His mannerisms were extremely feminine. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it limits my romantic connection with him.

Well, we sat down and ordered. I was starving after a pretty aggressive workout earlier that morning. He ordered a mere half of a sandwhich and a cup of soup. That's it?! Maybe that was his appetizer and he'd be ordering a cheeseburger later. I ordered shrimp skewers and a salad.

Our meals arrived...yes, that was his entire meal, and we started to eat. I had reached a point of near hypoglycemia because I was so hungry, so I had to hold myself back and make sure to put my fork down every now and then. Well, he finished his tiny cup of soup, but was "too full" to finish his entire half sandwich. I should have asked him if I could have it. I reluctantly did not finish my meal and asked for a to-go box because I felt like a pig eating more than this guy who was a good 6' tall.

After the meal (no dessert, of course), we walked outside, he asked for my number, I gave it to him (You can't really use the excuse/lie that you have a boyfriend when you meet someone through a dating website.), and we walked in separate directions. The SECOND I got in my car and double-checked that I was no longer in his view, I opened my to-go box and finished my lunch. I went home and had a piece of fruit in addition to my meal.

I guess we'd save a lot of money on the grocery bill if he and I wound up together, but I would waste away to nothing and never be able to satisfy my sweet tooth. I don't see this one going anywhere anytime soon....

Sunday, January 11, 2009

NYE - Part 2

'Lost in Translation' is perhaps what this SHOULD be titled....

So two of the worst moments of NYE were having my friends ditch me after the ball dropped by not returning my phone calls and texts and having Indiana invite himself to the concert where I was and then blow me off once he got there.

What actually happened was.... my friends had sipped on many, many, many bottles of champagne and were all passed out by the ripe time of 12:25AM. So they're weren't ditching me afterall, they were already sleeping off their hangovers. Whew!

On Sunday night, (Jan. 4) even after the presumed New Year's debacle, Indiana asked me out to dinner and I accepted. He's just supposed to be my fun, rebound guy, right? So if he's playing games I really don't care. I just need someone to occupy my time and especially help alleviate the pain of Sunday night when PWD (Post-Weekend Depression) sets in.

He picked me up and we went to an India restaurant. Through the course of conversation I said, 'So what did you think of ABC Concert on NYE?'

He looks at me strangely and says, 'What do you mean? That's the concert you saw.'

And I said, 'Well, which concert did you see?'

'XYZ concert,' he said.

OMG! We had been at different shows! This was great news. So he wasn't creepy for inviting himself to the concert where I was going AND he didn't blow me off once he got there! I was so relieved!

'Wait a second!' he said. 'You thought I was there and purposely didn't try to find you?! AND that I would have invited myself to your NYE plans?!' (He totally read my mind.)

'Um, yeah,' I responded. 'I'm so glad we're having this conversation!' Indiana said. 'You must have thought I was a total psycho.'

I responded, 'Well there's quite a few whack-jobs out there and I was hoping that you weren't one, but I didn't know.'

At that point we both started laughing, toasted with our Indian pale ales, and the date started to get really good.... I'll save the details for my next posting!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

NYE - Part 1

There have been times in my life when I truly believe that I have a New Year's Eve curse. While the eve of NYE 2007 was one of the most fun nights of my life and New Year's Day 2005 resulted in meeting a guy whom I dated for ten months, the night of the 31st itself has traditionally sucked. This year was not an exception - or so I thought...

Part 1 will explain what I thought happened in real time. Part 2 (to follow at a later date) will explain what ACTUALLY happened that night.

So, here goes with Part 1 - I have to back track for a sec...I met 'Indiana' via the fitness online dating website a couple of weeks before C-mas. He's almost a year younger which goes against what I've traditionally done (which has obviously worked so well), so I decided to meet him anyhow, but didn't wash my hair and wore a hat. Well, he turned out to be super cute, intelligent, athletic, charming, and fun. He liked the hat. We went out a second time the night before I went home for Christmas. I was thinking it would be a 2 drink night, home by 11PM. Well, it was more like 4, maybe 5 drinks, a shot, an innocent, but lengthy make-out session in his car, and I violated my Cinderella rule arriving home around 2AM.

Well, we talked while I was home and he was home over the holiday. I got back on the 30th and while we had different NYE plans (I was going to a concert, he was going to a party), we agreed to meet for tea at about 5:30PM on NYE, so we could see each other. As we met for tea, Indiana says, 'So I'm going to the concert tonight.' 'Woe, tiger,' I thought, 'You're inviting yourself to the concert where I'M going?' That seemed a little eager or invasive or something to me, but as we hung out and talked I was enjoying his company and thought it might be fun to have him there. We parted ways after he walked me to my car and I said, 'Ok, see you later!'

Fast forward to the concert at 10PM - I receive a text from Indiana saying, 'You at the show?' I responded affirmatively and asked, 'Where r u?' At this point a guy friend of mine who is rumored to have a crush on me, which is flattering but does not reflect my opinion of him, showed up at the last minute. Well, he proceeds to be attached to my hip, and Indiana is not texting me back. Additionally, my original plan for the night was to hang out with my girlfriends and meet new guys. Now, however, Indiana, who had just invited himself to the concert where I was going is totally blowing me off, I am being comandered by a guy I don't want to be with, and I can't find my girlfriends. ARGH!

The stroke of midnight comes and goes, still no Indiana. Whatever, I thought, at that point, I'd now accidentally kissed guy attached to my hip (What the hell, it was New Year's!), and was heading to bars near my house so I could walk home. Earlier in the evening I had arranged to meet up with a different group of friends at the bars near my house after midnight. I called and texted two of them and received no response whatsoever. At that point I'm waiting for friends who'd agreed to give me a ride. Well, they forget me. They drove home and then it dawned on them that they had promised me a ride. So I wind up in cab with hip-attached guy who insists on making sure I get home okay. At approximately 1:24AM, I get out of the cab - solo - much to the dismay of aforementioned hip guy, get into my house, and proceed to eat fudge that I'd made earlier. Very tasty, but detrimental to my mental health when I realize the number of calories I just consumed in less than five minutes.

The night finally ends with one text from Mr. Wrong (Yes, ex-boyfriend) wishing me a Happy New Year (Great, I really needed that) and, finally, another text from Indiana saying, 'The show's not over. Are we meeting for a shot later?' 'What?!' The show WAS over by then. Does he have two people with my same name in his phone and he's mixing us up?! I was tipsy, my stomach was full of vodka sodas and chocolate. I was disappointed and lonely. I fell asleep quickly as I repeated 'SuperFine in '09, SuperFine in '09.'

Part 2 to follow - Funny how things can change....

Monday, January 5, 2009

SuperFine in '09!

My apologies for taking a hiatus from this blog. Long story short, the wrong guy showed back up in my life, made some promises that he kept in the short term, but ultimately could not sustain. So...it's back to the drawing board as they say. My motto this year is '08 wasn't so great, but everything'll be SuperFine in '09.' (I added the 'Super' just this past weekend, originally it was simply 'fine,' but I decided to kick it up a notch.)

Anyhoo, I've had numerous dates lately. You'll find the first adventure below. Thanks for reading!

Ain't ain't a word!!!

I met this guy online via a fitness dating website. His profile makes him look like a perfect match. He's an engineer, has his master's degree, is in good shape, positive outlook on life, and has a cool dog.

We emailed back and forth a few times and then decided to upgrade to a phone conversation. He called on a Tuesday evening and we chatted for a bit. I was slightly taken aback, however, when he used the word 'ain't' several times throughout the convo. He was not telling a joke, rapping Jay-Z lyrics to me, or using it in the form of an accepted cliche such as 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it!' Blech, that word is like nails on a chalkboard to me!

Well, trying to acquiesce to an open-minded attitude, I decided to meet him out anyway. We met at Starbucks on Thursday of the same week. While he didn't look quite like his posted photos on online, he was a good looking guy and definitely in good shape (i.e. impressive deltoids under a just tight enough shirt).

The conversation flowed just fine, and the frequency of the use of the term 'ain't' did, in fact, diminish, only to be replaced, however by 'I seen,' 'Me and So-and-So,' and 'Him and me.' Where is this guy from?!?! It had to be Alabama I thought (no offense to any natives). Nope, I found out about halfway into the convo - Chicago! Clearly his master's degree was not in English.

The date finished up about an hour later. We'd only had non-alcoholic beverages, so kissing was clearly not an option. We parted ways with a hug and I received an email from him the next day, which actually contained a phrase where the word 'ain't' was TYPED. As in, 'I ain't going to the mountains this weekend.' He's a nice enough guy, and I've seen him since, but I just can't accept the fact that he is grammatically challenged...and that ain't no lie!