And tonight my cab driver, although not a potential in-law serial killer, was, in fact, a 400 lb man. I am not exaggerating by any stretch mark of the imagination. So while he did not tell me of any plots to murder his in-laws, had he sat or laid upon me, my ribs would have been instantly crushed, violently piercing my lungs, and quickly suffocating me. Who knew calling a cab could put me in so much peril! I thought you were supposed to call a cab to keep you safe!